Dear Dad,

Remember when I was a little five year old pointing to the tomatoes we planted in our empty backyard? Remember when my first words were ‘Baba’ (dad in mandarin)? Remember when I was just a toddler on your shoulders amazed by the world?

I’m not that silly kid anymore. I’m a 14 year old teenage girl. I’m sorry that I can be the most frustrating person in the world at times. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve screamed at you and all the times I’ve ignored you.

I just read a New York Times Article entitled “What My Dad Gave Me” by Susannah Meadows. It has me looking at the past few weeks with a different set of eyes. Thoughtful eyes.

The fight we had the other day on a car ride to practice. The one where you missed 3 exits, and we were 7 minutes late. I hope we won’t have to argue about foolish things like that one in the future.

If you had gotten into a deadly car accident that day, I would never forgive myself. If the wildfire near us had burned down our home, I wouldn’t want to spend the last day in my room avoiding your presence. I wouldn’t want my last words to be “I hate you.” I don’t.

The thing about life is nothing is forever. In just one second, you may have no tomorrow. And I don’t want to take my last breath on Earth regretting the last conversation we had.

I got my almond shaped eyes and my thick eyebrows from you. And I love the parts of me that are you and the parts of me that are mom.

Dagny