The lab just decided to stop experimenting on mice. They say it isn’t humane. What will they do then? Ah, the newspaper just got delivered. “Laboratory to Start Experiments on Vegetables.” Are they actually going to do this? A broccoli delivery truck just pulled up. It’s true. They really are replacing mice with vegetables. It’s probably good for the mice.
Skimming through the newspaper, the mice have many negative things to say about the switch: “We’ve all been fired, and now the vegetables are paid 70 dollars an hour.”
The lab had good reason to switch the mice out for vegetables … right? “The noted laboratory has lately been conducting experiments with radiation, and the researchers are concerned about being humane. When interviewed, we asked the head researcher if it was dangerous to use radiation in their experiments, and he replied, “Funny you should ask. The broccoli asked me the same question. It might give them supernatural powers. They have the power to do things that even we can’t do. For example, they might be able to outperform a supercomputer.
They are very intelligent, but their grammar is rudimentary because broccoli has no mouth. Oh, and they might get bigger.” At that moment, a muffled, squishy thud comes from outside. I see a giant broccoli. It has no eyes, and a cavity in the stalk where it makes grunting noises and sounds that vaguely sound like mathematical formulas. It picks up my car and puts it into its “mouth.” It chomps down, and I hear the sounds of grinding metal. Wow, it just ate a Chevy.
Time to leave. I run away as fast as I can, occasionally hearing the broccoli savor the delicious, unique taste of a car. I don’t know what the researchers were thinking, switching to vegetables, but it was a very bad idea.
Skimming through the newspaper, the mice have many negative things to say about the switch: “We’ve all been fired, and now the vegetables are paid 70 dollars an hour.”
The lab had good reason to switch the mice out for vegetables … right? “The noted laboratory has lately been conducting experiments with radiation, and the researchers are concerned about being humane. When interviewed, we asked the head researcher if it was dangerous to use radiation in their experiments, and he replied, “Funny you should ask. The broccoli asked me the same question. It might give them supernatural powers. They have the power to do things that even we can’t do. For example, they might be able to outperform a supercomputer.
They are very intelligent, but their grammar is rudimentary because broccoli has no mouth. Oh, and they might get bigger.” At that moment, a muffled, squishy thud comes from outside. I see a giant broccoli. It has no eyes, and a cavity in the stalk where it makes grunting noises and sounds that vaguely sound like mathematical formulas. It picks up my car and puts it into its “mouth.” It chomps down, and I hear the sounds of grinding metal. Wow, it just ate a Chevy.
Time to leave. I run away as fast as I can, occasionally hearing the broccoli savor the delicious, unique taste of a car. I don’t know what the researchers were thinking, switching to vegetables, but it was a very bad idea.
