Familects: Unique and Common

Families speak to each other in different ways—not just in different languages, but in different manners and, importantly, while using unique words. Every family has a unique “familect”: the special way a family uses language. It is created from situations such as children’s mispronunciation and when someone can’t find a specific word, instead making a new word.

Familects can be used in conversations in unexpected ways. For example, undefined In this case, blammy is used to describe people who are always rushing heedlessly around having accidents and causing commotions.

While some people might disapprove of words that do not fit the standard language, I disagree. The variation in the way people speak and express themselves distinguishes one family from the other. Establishing new words with inside jokes or context only the family can understand helps people feel more connected.

The earliest use of “familylect” may have come from researcher Ben Sondergaard in 1991, though it was coined by Cynthia Gordon, the author of the 2009 book, “Making Meanings, Creating Family.” Social groups, including families, are not just created by relations, but by what we do every day in interaction.

Another quirk of familects is that they can spark the interests of people outside the family, like friends. It is interesting to know the creative vocabulary of other families. Whole books of these novel words have been collected. They are words that are understandable to families as they are not to outsiders, although it can be difficult to tell sometimes. What might have seemed like a unique word known only to a family might be a regional aspect one parent imported, or the last trace of an ancient language.

While critics might point out that they are not “real words” or that they don’t “fit the standard language”, they become just as important as real words to families, maybe more. Just because it is not found inside a dictionary doesn’t mean people don’t treat those words as they would do “real” ones. Besides, without these novelties, what would the real difference between families be? Outfits? Languages? One can easily copy the outfits of others, or speak the same language, but cannot understand inside jokes families use easily.

The next time you use a word unique to your family, take a moment to appreciate its characterization of your family. Who knows? You might one day pass it down to someone else.