I always remember…

I remember my friends Valerie and Joy back in my old school.I remembered the perfume smell everyday from Ms. Vanessa. I remembered where my locker used to be. I also remembered how happy I was during recess everyday. Nowadays, I remember all of the drama Madison caused. I remembered involving in arguments about Madison. [Make sure to adjust the highlighted part. In this case it would be ‘getting involved in arguments with Madison.] I remembered a new friend named Jocelyn Palmer. She has blond hair and always wear wore a t-shirt. I remembered me and Valerie usually played concentration, a hand clapping game together. Ellon Musk, etc. [try to avoid things like ‘etc.’ in writing, but nice work specifying them here] I remembered getting my pink MacBook Neo. I remembered how exciting it was when I got my white Beats360. I remembered the time when me and my mom went shopping. I remembered the time me and my sister Felicity and I got into a big fight. I remembered reading Keeper of the Lost Cities and Discovery Mysteries . I remembered everything but not now, because too many good things are coming in to my mind. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ho ha ho ha ho!!!

An interesting poetic story, like I said in my first draft feedback. I really like how it feels personal and full of different sensory details. I noticed some additional details added, so great work on that. Make sure to incorporate the changes I suggested regarding verb tense, however, and also the part I highlighted, to make this draft even stronger.