Year of the Horse

Grandmother makes us a rich noodle soup, warm and flavorful with the aroma of her hometown. She piles tender beef slices, silken, hand-wrung noodles, and savory, scallion-garnished broth into our waiting bowls. We slurp and shout; these dinners are filled with the sound of a happy family. Bowen eats his noodles one strand at a time. The naughty boy takes forever to finish. Long noodles, long life.

Outside, red paper lanterns, hung with tassels from the ridge of our curved roof, flutter and fly. A small golden horse is etched into every one, the glowing light inside illuminating the picture. It is the Year of the Horse, my year.

Mama is a Dragon, and Daddy is a Tiger. Grandmother is an Ox, firm, strong, and patient. Bowen is a Monkey, and I like to say that he really is one in real life, too, not just in the zodiac. Then, he grunts like a chimpanzee and eats a banana, all for show.

I read my horoscope personality one time in a book I got from the library, called Chinese Zodiacs: Explained. It said that Horses are energetic, independent, and charismatic. I don’t think I am any of those things, though. I am never the most upbeat, I still rely on my family for a lot of things, such as advice, and I stick to only my closest friends. After all, if it were true, then why do I always feel torn in two directions?

At school, kids do not know about my family’s traditions. They are clueless to the beauty of the delicate moon at night and have no idea how to do a festive lion or dragon’s dance. They have never bitten into a rich, sweet moon cake filled with thick red bean paste and a salted duck egg yolk in the middle. They do not know what it is like to be Chinese.

I live in two different worlds: my school universe, with glossy pencils and American sandwiches, and my home galaxy, with the lunar moon and hot pot. I flip back and forth like I am playing with the light switch the way Bowen does sometimes. Light, dark. Light, dark. But Grandmother tells me, with the soft, aged quality to her voice, something I think is wise. new moon or full moon, I will always be a Horse.