Diary of an Alien

Hi. I’m an alien from the star ŤŘÀPPÏẞŤ-Į, or, in earthly English, TRAPPIST-1. Our civilization is on ŤŘÀPPÏẞŤ-Įð, or TRAPPIST-1d. Fortunately, those idiotic Earthlings will always think our planet is -6°C and never know of our ultra-secret planet-wide warming system (actually, it’s just a carbon dioxide regulator). Oops! Pretend you heard nothing.

Jůłŷ 18, 2024 (July 18, 4386):

I wake when our star is in the sky. Well, our star, ŤŘÀPPÏẞŤ-Į, is always in the sky, since our planet doesn’t spin like Earth, so calculating time is rather hard. I bet those Earthlings always get dizzy.

I jump off the bed, wear my normal business suit, and drive in my MS M-1 ETV, which stands for Model Saucer Mach-1 Easy Transportation Vehicle. It looks like a flying saucer, hence the name.

Bureau of Exploration Engineering, headquarters being the Hexagon. Within the Bureau, there are many departments, the one I work for being the LSOTD, which stands for the Life and Specimen Outside of Trappist-1 Department.

Today, we have received new data from spacecraft sent to the star ẞøł, or Sun. One of our molecular sensors has detected the presence of water and other important ingredients for life floating in space. The BEE has decided to send landing probes onto the star’s planets.

Just then, the radio telescope outside detected radio waves from the same star. The RWD, or Radio Wave Department, has investigated, and deduced that the radio waves sent this message:

“I left the porridge in the laundry.”

Or,

“Greetings from the people of Earth.”