I start my day with my mom nudging me awake. The clock reads 7:00 a.m., which means I have an hour to get ready for picture day. Today, I get to wear my periwinkle dress and a crown that I picked out the day before. Mom will fashion my hair into pigtails as she witnesses her daughter’s first-grade photo moment. Today, I feel like a princess and a force to be reckoned with.
From birth, my mom has adorned me in elegant dresses, extravagant accessories, and feminine hairstyles. I cherished every instance until I turned eight and opted to don a crown for the photo. My bold behavior swiftly lost its allure, marked by the gradual changes in my evolving perspective on “picture day”.
In fourth grade, the princess mindset had faded. I chose tights, low-rise jean shorts, and sleek, straight hair – a more mature style compared to childish pigtails.
Upon reaching ninth grade, buried beneath expectations and unattainable standards, the confidence my first-grade self had vanished beneath the weight of cultural and societal pressures to embody a photoshopped image of flawlessness. On picture day, I sported glasses with my hair in a ponytail, lips closed, a faint smile, awaiting the camera’s shutter with a blend of anticipation and anxiety.
For many years, picture day was exciting, something to look forward to even. But over the years, I found myself forcing a smile for the camera and feeling anxious about the Lifetouch package. “I hope my eyes aren’t closed.” “I need to stop smiling with my mouth open.”
As I grew older, I began to wonder how I had lost the spark my ten year self once had: “When did I lose my innocent self-assuredness and become so self-aware?” But I realized that growing up involves rediscovering the elements that once brought me happiness as a child. Whether it’s wearing pink, donning a crown, or savoring the feminine subtleties I once cherished, I am relearning my beauty’s standards.
I am learning to embrace the things that instill confidence and a sense of beauty within me. When I look at my first-grade picture, I smile with bittersweet nostalgia and wonder, “Where did that little girl go?” Yet, in uncovering my childhood’s joys, I’m embracing my journey into womanhood, along with its challenges and beauty.
In rekindling my inner child’s spirit, I learned to embrace the change from childhood to womanhood. Picture day is no longer a dreaded day for me. It is a day to don what brings me joy–whether it be a tacky plastic crown– and to flash a cheesy smile for the camera
So, while picture day may have once been a source of anxiety, I now view picture day as a chance to rediscover the joy and complication in growing up. I am learning to celebrate my journey, with all its ups and downs. In doing so, I am discovering that becoming a woman is not about losing my beauty, but about rediscovering it in new and beautiful ways.
From birth, my mom has adorned me in elegant dresses, extravagant accessories, and feminine hairstyles. I cherished every instance until I turned eight and opted to don a crown for the photo. My bold behavior swiftly lost its allure, marked by the gradual changes in my evolving perspective on “picture day”.
In fourth grade, the princess mindset had faded. I chose tights, low-rise jean shorts, and sleek, straight hair – a more mature style compared to childish pigtails.
Upon reaching ninth grade, buried beneath expectations and unattainable standards, the confidence my first-grade self had vanished beneath the weight of cultural and societal pressures to embody a photoshopped image of flawlessness. On picture day, I sported glasses with my hair in a ponytail, lips closed, a faint smile, awaiting the camera’s shutter with a blend of anticipation and anxiety.
For many years, picture day was exciting, something to look forward to even. But over the years, I found myself forcing a smile for the camera and feeling anxious about the Lifetouch package. “I hope my eyes aren’t closed.” “I need to stop smiling with my mouth open.”
As I grew older, I began to wonder how I had lost the spark my ten year self once had: “When did I lose my innocent self-assuredness and become so self-aware?” But I realized that growing up involves rediscovering the elements that once brought me happiness as a child. Whether it’s wearing pink, donning a crown, or savoring the feminine subtleties I once cherished, I am relearning my beauty’s standards.
I am learning to embrace the things that instill confidence and a sense of beauty within me. When I look at my first-grade picture, I smile with bittersweet nostalgia and wonder, “Where did that little girl go?” Yet, in uncovering my childhood’s joys, I’m embracing my journey into womanhood, along with its challenges and beauty.
In rekindling my inner child’s spirit, I learned to embrace the change from childhood to womanhood. Picture day is no longer a dreaded day for me. It is a day to don what brings me joy–whether it be a tacky plastic crown– and to flash a cheesy smile for the camera
So, while picture day may have once been a source of anxiety, I now view picture day as a chance to rediscover the joy and complication in growing up. I am learning to celebrate my journey, with all its ups and downs. In doing so, I am discovering that becoming a woman is not about losing my beauty, but about rediscovering it in new and beautiful ways.
