Meanwhile, Elise was very confused as to why the lockdown had happened.
She thought, “I have never experienced a real lockdown in my life. This feels really scary. The Watcher has got to be the cause of this lockdown.”
The next morning, right after Elise was escorted out of the her cell, she went to look for Johnny.
When she got to the cafeteria, she saw that Johnny and The Watcher weren’t sitting next to each other.
After she got her food, she went to sit next to Johnny.
She asked him, “Did you hear the lockdown last night? It was weird, right?”
Johnny angrily replied, “Yes, I heard the lockdown last night. And guess what? I got pulled out of my cell, and I got thrown into the cell on the other side of the jail! I think this is all The Watcher’s fault!”
Elise was shocked. She said, “This has to be The Watcher! No one else would do that! Let’s interrogate him.”
Johnny nodded in agreement.
They then went to The Watcher’s table and asked, “Do you know why Johnny was moved out the cell? I need an answer now! You have to be honest here.”
The Watcher, perplexed, replied, “I was also confused about why Johnny was moved. To add to that, I was also having a conversation with him as the lockdown happened.”
Elise was still not convinced.
She whispered into Johnny’s ear, “Did this actually happen? This feels like a made-up story.”
Johnny nodded.
The three remained silent for a moment.
Elise told The Watcher, “I don’t think you are actually a prisoner, and I think I am onto you.”
As Johnny and Elise walked to the cells for their shift, Johnny, whose face was lopsided and had a crumpled mouth, asked her, “I know that we are both suspicious of The Watcher, but why do you believe that he is not a prisoner? I don’t think we have enough evidence to prove that.”
Elise, who was also feeling very suspicious, replied, “I just know it. Tonight, while I do my night shift, I will walk around the jail to find him. If I see him, then he has to be a prisoner.”
Overall, you have maintained the tension of The Watcher’s identity well – as a reader, I am interested and excited to continue reading. Pacing and the wordiness of the dialogue presented the greatest challenges in this part.