Dear Georgia Gardener and John Fishlock,

You might be wondering how I, the beautiful little sausage dog survived the big wilderness. First, you need to know that it was hard. Very, very hard. I had to eat dead stuff! It was disgusting, but I was hungry! Also, you will want to know what happened when I was out surviving the wilderness.

First, when I was camping with you, there was a squirrel that kept stupidly staring at me. I got annoyed, so I chased it. It ran away, paused, and kept staring at me, running and then staring, so I kept chasing it until I was lost. Sorry! Then as it turned to night, I realized that I couldn’t see anymore! I decided to dig a burrow for the night. I slept in it. It was comfy in a way unlike the soft blankets you wrap me in. It felt wild. I realized that I kind of liked feeling wild.

The next day, I woke up starving. Maybe it was because I, the great dog, had unfairly missed dinner that night or overslept breakfast. Maybe it was because my wild instincts told me it was time for eating. So, very groggily, I dragged myself out of my self-made den and started scrounging for food. “Doggy food! Dog Kibble!” I called, hoping that some random bowl of kibble would pop out of thin air.

Suddenly, a clump of bush behind me trembled. An old, deeply scared dog limped out. “What you callin’ about kid? I was sleeping!” he rasped,” Out here you outta’ be wild! Makin’ your own decisions, you know! Ya can’t rely on untrustworthy humans to feed ya! Good luck with that!” Thankfully then, the feral dog hobbled away. I decided not to listen to him.

Yet, after a few more tries, I decided that he was correct. I kept walking until I found a dead carcass on the side of a road. I decided to eat it. It took some getting used to, but I got used to it as the days went on. Life went on like that.

About one year later, I found myself back in a cage barking for dear life. Don’t ask me how it happened. I was just walking into my favorite feeding places, a shed stocked with roast chicken, until the door slammed behind me. I was trapped. I started barking and howling like crazy. Then, the flap in the shed opened, and some human brought me outside into a vet hospital. I stayed there for a few weeks and then was being carted back home in a car.