Jackie’s comments:

Aaron, this is a very solid revision, you’ve fixed a large number of the technical grammar points. As we talked about last session, you can cut the last paragraph—we don’t need a summary at the end of a news article, just a last fact.

Spotify’s New Feature Will Help People See what They’re Listening To

Starting in mid-September, Spotify will introduce a new feature, the A.I. Persona label. This feature will identify artists whose music is A.I.-generated. Spotify says they want users to have transparency and know if they’re listening to real artists.

Throughout the past month, multiple music industry organizations like the Recording Academy and the Recording Industry Association of America have called for clearer classification on songs that were made with artificial intelligence. The groups cited fans demand for clarity when A.I is used in the making of pieces of music [missing period here.] transparency is drove [“is driven”—this isn’t a verb-tense issue exactly, but generally to do with the way composite verb-formations take the past participle of the verb (which is 90% of the time identical to the simple past form, but not in the case of what some so called ‘strong verbs’ like ‘to drive,’ ‘to eat,’ ‘to wake,’ etc), and more particularly in this case the way attributive use of ‘is’ requires the past participle ‘driven’ as a kind of noun (“this desire for transparency is…” what, exactly? driven. driven by… what, exactly? etc).] by the fact that “many listeners seemingly unaware of the music’s origins,” says New York Times author Malia Mendez.

“While we believe all artists have creative choice in determining how they present themselves, Spotify’s programming is focused on elevating music from authentic artists building careers in music,” the company said in a news release. This new feature can help creators gain the exposure they deserve and help small artist grow bigger. It will also help listeners know that what they discover and listen to is genuine.

In addition, Spotify users have expressed irritation when being recommended A.I generated compositions. However, Spotify claims to have a solution for this. “We tune our algorithms to highlight authentic human artists and, based on available signals, strive to not include spam, slop or low-effort content in our recommendations,” the company said.

Overall, the growth of A.I has resulted in this new A.I persona feature in order to gain more transparency in music. Spotify believes this label will help listeners understand who and what they’re listening to.

SOURCES HERE

https://app.letterly.io/api/letterly/documents/view?url=letterly%2Fdocuments%2Flink%2F88521

Jackie’s comments

Aaron, very nice job with the lede, translating soft-news to hard news style. The two Spotify quotations are well chosen, and the second one gives a reader the company’s own language. Two things to work on for the next draft. First, cut the last paragraph—it doesn’t work as a tail (we’ll talk about this in class). Second, you drift a bit too close in the second and third paragraphs to sounding like you work for Spotify’s PR team. For the next draft I want you to concentrate on maintaining a more neutral tone.