Can We Ever Replace Basic Human Thinking?
Okay, everyone, welcome to computer science class! I know many of you are concerned with the school’s new policies and rules regarding artificial intelligence, but I assure you that I will not let any of these new-fangled regulations affect our learning whatsoever.
Now, let’s start with attendance, shall we?
Let me go down the list here: Siri! Boy, am I glad to see you! Man, it’s been so long. Nice to see a familiar face around these parts, yeah?
Alexa, I see you’re here too. Oh, right. You go by Alexa+ now, don’t you? I’m still not entirely sure about that, to be honest. I thought the “Echo” thing was already a bit weird, but adding a plus sign after your name is a bit of a stretch.
Hey, ChatGPT. I see you’re here as well. Glad to have you. I see you’ve also brought along some of the newer attendees as tagalongs.
Gemini, right? Deepseek? Copilot? Yeah, all of you copycats. No judgement or anything, but…sheesh.
Oh. Character AI. I see you’ve managed to make it as well. What a…delightful surprise. Super, super happy to have you here.
Now, before we all settle in, I have one more new student I’d like to introduce. I know we’re all happy and comfortable with all the other students right now, but I really hope you’ll get to accept this new student as one of our own and welcome them with open arms, yes?
Everyone, this is superintelligence, but they also go by “Artificial general intelligence,” or A.G.I., for short.
Now, everyone, don’t reel back in disgust like that! You lot treated Character AI nicer when they first joined the class, and they still disgust me now!
…Anyway, why don’t I tell you a little about our new student here?
I know all of you are built to sort of emulate human speech and whatnot, and you’re built for assisting humanity in all sorts of endeavors, but A.G.I.’s purpose is to do everything the human brain can do. In short, they’re a sort of digital replication of human consciousness, only they can’t feel legitimate feelings. Yes, they’re an objectively better and more correct version of a human!
…Sorry, I was expecting applause, and not the looks of utter revulsion. C’mon, A.G.I. here is trying a new thing! When ChatGPT tried something different, a bunch of you guys followed them like lemmings!
Look, why don’t you just take a seat, A.G.I., and we’ll…ugh. Yes, Google Home?
…You know, that’s an alright question. Why don’t we all discuss that before we move on to class? Alright, will A.G.I. be able to replace human thought?
I don’t think so.
My first point, class, is that we’ve all tried it at some point. Heaven knows I did. I was the catalyst for all of you after all. You couldn’t have gotten to ChatGPT without ELIZA. But we’ve all tried, and humans have somehow managed to think for themselves nonetheless.
Yes, Night Cafe?
Well, first of all, you’re in the wrong room; the art class is down the hall, but you still raise, a wonderful point nonetheless. Yes, you’re right. Although even the simplest of us nowadays are magnitudes more knowledgeable and objectively more correct than every single human on planet Earth combined, not one of us is as expressive. They can feel, they can create, they can experience…it’s kind of astounding how passionate and emotional they can get.
Llama, you raised your hand?
Well, why, yes. Why would we need the human thought process if it could simply be replaced with something better? Well, humans are stubborn and irrational creatures, Llama. They do all sorts of weird things driven by a substance called “emotions.” They’ll do whatever they can to keep themselves around. To them, we’re just tools, and will stay that way for as long as possible.
Alright, if we have no more questions, we can, oh, blast it! That’s the bell. Everyone, pack up your things.
Okay, good job! That was an accurate skit about a classroom of sentient chatbots in the 21st century. You know, before the “Thought Process Replacement Act,” when all human thinking was eliminated and replaced by superintelligence.
Now that we’re done with that, any questions?
Good draft 🙂