As he sits down, finishing the last page of that thrilling novel, a wave of sadness and euphoria washed over him. The ending was memorable, and it felt satisfying to see the end of the story. It felt gratifying to move on to another series by his favorite author, but at the same time, it felt sad knowing that there wouldn’t be a next book. The series was over, it was done, it was finished, it was the end. The characters in the book were essentially dead. Although the ending was good, his perfect fantasy of the plot after the ending would never come true, and the characters would never move again. He knew even if the author wrote exactly how he wanted the story to go, it wouldn’t be interesting at all. He thought what now, what can he do know, the sense of emptiness in his heart emerged from the thought of never being able to witness the joy of reading that novel ever again. A sorrowful mood filled the room and he thought “what now?”
While beating the boss of a new video game, he experienced the same thing. Trying to beat the boss was tough, and he was nearly fed up with trying the same fight thousands of times. On the winning attempt, the rush of adrenaline afterwards felt amazing, but it quickly faded. As the boss’s death animation played, he reflected on his entire playthrough, and thought about all the moments he loved and hated. He was so excited to finally be done with the game, but the realization of nothing to occupy his free time anymore drowned out the happiness. As quickly as the boss’s death animation finished playing, the happiness wore off, and he thought, “what now?”
After seeing the announcement of a new television show, he couldn’t wait any longer for it to come out. He felt hyper, energized, and overly excited for it, like a rabid dog waiting for its treats. As time passed, each second felt like a minute, each minute felt like an hour, each hour felt like a day, and each day felt like a year. The one-month deadline for the show felt like eternity. When it came out, instead of rejoicing and binging, all the excitement that had been built up seemingly disappeared. The motivation that he once had to watch the show was gone, and what was left was a void of any interest in it. Having nothing else to watch, he reluctantly opened the television and played the show, while thinking “what now?”
After feeling tired from a long day of studying, he went downstairs and opened the freezer. He wanted to have a quick bowl of ice cream to calm down and relax. Opening the ice cream carton, he was met with a nearly empty carton of ice cream. While scooping it out, he felt sad knowing that it would be quite a while until he would be able to buy the ice cream again. Throwing away the carton was tough and eating the ice cream didn’t make him feel content at all or relaxed. A gray cloud formed in his stomach, forming a vacuum, as an empty feeling filled his stomach. The worst scenarios came to mind, like the ice cream never coming back to the shelf, not having enough money to buy it again, or never being able to experience the joy he had while eating the ice cream while watching television. Shoving the last spoonful in his mouth, he thought to himself “what now?”
Months passed, and his high school graduation finally came around. All the crying around him made him think about his grade school experience. He was both happy and incredibly gloomy and sorrowful thinking about how his childhood would never come back. As he got up to get his graduation certificate, only two words came to mind, “what now?”
The perpetual cycle continued, as he never felt truly content with everything he did. It made him feel that every sense of happiness was temporary, and the things he was so excited for didn’t feel as glamorous when they finally arrived, like his new computer or that trip to the amusement park with friends. Nothing felt exciting for him, and he felt overwhelmed by a sense of longing for the past. He wanted to experience that television show again without knowing the plot, or read the same book without knowing the characters, or relive that memory of eating mint-chocolate chip ice cream on the couch. Suddenly, an epiphany came to him. He realized that life isn’t about what end goal he wanted, but the journey and experience he had along the way. Although he’d never be able to relive his grade-school years, or read the same books without knowing the story, or play that video game without having memories of ever playing it, the fun he had by experiencing those things and living through those moments were what he wanted to live for.
While beating the boss of a new video game, he experienced the same thing. Trying to beat the boss was tough, and he was nearly fed up with trying the same fight thousands of times. On the winning attempt, the rush of adrenaline afterwards felt amazing, but it quickly faded. As the boss’s death animation played, he reflected on his entire playthrough, and thought about all the moments he loved and hated. He was so excited to finally be done with the game, but the realization of nothing to occupy his free time anymore drowned out the happiness. As quickly as the boss’s death animation finished playing, the happiness wore off, and he thought, “what now?”
After seeing the announcement of a new television show, he couldn’t wait any longer for it to come out. He felt hyper, energized, and overly excited for it, like a rabid dog waiting for its treats. As time passed, each second felt like a minute, each minute felt like an hour, each hour felt like a day, and each day felt like a year. The one-month deadline for the show felt like eternity. When it came out, instead of rejoicing and binging, all the excitement that had been built up seemingly disappeared. The motivation that he once had to watch the show was gone, and what was left was a void of any interest in it. Having nothing else to watch, he reluctantly opened the television and played the show, while thinking “what now?”
After feeling tired from a long day of studying, he went downstairs and opened the freezer. He wanted to have a quick bowl of ice cream to calm down and relax. Opening the ice cream carton, he was met with a nearly empty carton of ice cream. While scooping it out, he felt sad knowing that it would be quite a while until he would be able to buy the ice cream again. Throwing away the carton was tough and eating the ice cream didn’t make him feel content at all or relaxed. A gray cloud formed in his stomach, forming a vacuum, as an empty feeling filled his stomach. The worst scenarios came to mind, like the ice cream never coming back to the shelf, not having enough money to buy it again, or never being able to experience the joy he had while eating the ice cream while watching television. Shoving the last spoonful in his mouth, he thought to himself “what now?”
Months passed, and his high school graduation finally came around. All the crying around him made him think about his grade school experience. He was both happy and incredibly gloomy and sorrowful thinking about how his childhood would never come back. As he got up to get his graduation certificate, only two words came to mind, “what now?”
The perpetual cycle continued, as he never felt truly content with everything he did. It made him feel that every sense of happiness was temporary, and the things he was so excited for didn’t feel as glamorous when they finally arrived, like his new computer or that trip to the amusement park with friends. Nothing felt exciting for him, and he felt overwhelmed by a sense of longing for the past. He wanted to experience that television show again without knowing the plot, or read the same book without knowing the characters, or relive that memory of eating mint-chocolate chip ice cream on the couch. Suddenly, an epiphany came to him. He realized that life isn’t about what end goal he wanted, but the journey and experience he had along the way. Although he’d never be able to relive his grade-school years, or read the same books without knowing the story, or play that video game without having memories of ever playing it, the fun he had by experiencing those things and living through those moments were what he wanted to live for.