I remembered when I first came to the U.S. It was fifth grade, and it was much harder than I had expected. From the first day, it felt like everyone had their friends and group already. Everybody seemed to have all the things to do, except for talking to me. I just read a book and felt like I did not belong anywhere.

I remember, at recess, I just stayed alone and enjoyed my time. I didn’t look lost. I just wanted to stay alone and not have anyone bother me. I always wore a fake smile wherever I went.

It all changed at lunch on October 8, 2023. I was just so tired of not having friends and the fake smile I carried around. I sat next to some kids who were in a very deep conversation about a random game I’d never played before. I almost automatically changed to my usual smile, but I took a breath and said, “I’ve never played that. Is it fun?”

I was expecting them just to ask me to leave. Yet, the exact opposite happened; they looked so excited to tell me about the game. Then, one of them (Andy) asked, “Well, what do you play?” I told them about my favorite game, Pokémon Sword and Shield, then another guy (Steven) responded, “Oh, cool. I love Pokémon! What’s your favorite?”

It made me think that maybe the problem wasn’t that people were ignoring me. Maybe I was just hiding, too busy hiding my personality from them to actually let anyone see the real me.

It’s not like I became the most popular kid overnight, but I did stop being so afraid to just be myself. And now, I always keep an eye out for other kids sitting by themselves, because I know that feeling all too well.