Maybe This Time

“I will start tomorrow,” I thought to myself.

It was the second week of summer, and I had said it so many times this week that it barely meant anything anymore. My alarm would go off early in the morning, but I would hit snooze and fall right back to sleep. At approximately half past ten, I would finally wake up to the sound of my mom’s slippers shuffling down the stair. Then, I’d check my phone, hoping to see notifications or messages that were never actually there.

Every day, I promised myself that I would make a small improvement. I’d go for a run, study, or eat something other than six bags of chips. But as the time ticked by, I found myself scrolling through endless chains of videos on my phone. Before I knew it, the sun would be setting. The day’s almost over now, so there’s no point in starting anything.

Sometimes, I would begin tasks, but make no progress. For instance, I’d sharpen my pencils and open my math book, just to close it after the first question. Later, I would eat a bowl of fruits, just to be tempted by the candy bar that sat on the kitchen counter.

Occasionally, my mom would ask what I had done throughout the day. I’d answer with something like, “Oh, I was learning biology,” feeling guilty since I had in fact, done nothing. If she asked for a more detailed answer, I would mumble something about mitochondria or another topic that I remembered from science class months ago, hoping that she would change the subject soon.

that remained on my ceiling since I was little, slowly losing their brightness as time passed. I’d replay the entire day in my head, thinking through all the things I planned to do. And the worst part? I didn’t have an excuse as to why I chose to procrastinate. Everything I did or didn’t do was my own fault.

I guess I was just waiting for the day when I would magically wake up motivated and energized, ready to power through my textbooks and practice cello for an hour straight. But the day never seemed to come and maybe it was never meant to. I needed to take action myself. , hoping that this time, I could stay true to my words.

.”